A Letter to Luke Bryan's Tour Driver

Dear Luke Bryan's tour driver,

This morning, while my mom and I were wandering the streets of Nashville, I accidentally walked directly into you.  I apologized and you said it was alright, but I feel bad.  So again, I am sorry.

You're probably tired, having to drive all over the country and set up for Luke Bryan's concerts every night.  You have a lot on your mind.  I'm sure your job is strenuous and it probably takes a toll on you.  You do not need blonde girls who aren't looking where they are going to plow into you like I did.  It was inconsiderate of me to walk into you.  I need to pay better attention to what I am doing.

I hope that you're enjoying your time in Nashville as much as I enjoyed the two hours I spent there this morning.  It was a pleasure running into you.

Sincerely,
Lindsay

P.S. Go the the Provence Cafe and get a Sherlock Holmes coffee and a salted caramel chocolate croissant.  Tell them Lindsay sent you.

P.P.S. They won't know who I am.

P.P.P.S. Please tell Luke Bryan that I am now a fan.  If he wasn't married, I would ask you to pass along my phone number.

In Case You Didn't Know, I'm Moving to California. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I am leaving everything I've ever known, picking up some of my earthly possessions, and moving 3000 miles away to sunny California. I've never been more west than, like, Lancaster, Pennsylvania? So though I know people who have been out there and there is much literature on the subject, here is what I assume California is going to be like:

1. People doing yoga in white linen pants on the beach
2. People doing pilates in white linen pants on the beach
3. People doing yogalates in white linen pants on the beach
4. Pinkberry
5. Bathing suits, everywhere, all the time
6. Lots of sand, everywhere, all the time
7. Kristen Cavallari yelling "STEPHEN!", everywhere, all the time
8. People playing instruments on every single beach pier
9. People roller skating on every single beach pier
10. In-N-Out
11. Avocados. Lots of avocados.
12. Traffic. Lots of traffic.
13. A really, really cool soundtrack to your life (thanks, The OC!)

The weather is going to be gorgeous, always. I'm going to be working at the happiest place on earth. I'll be living on my own so that means avocados for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and also I can walk around naked if I want. I'll probably get myself a cat (or two). What's not to love?

Maybe the fact that I'll be super far away from my family and friends?  Maybe that I will be totally, singularly on my own out there?  Maybe that I don't know where anything even is out there?  Or what the lifestyle is REALLY like?  Like, do I have to go to In-N-Out all the time?  Do I need to start doing pilates?  Are these two things contradictions of themselves? (yes, yes they are)

Needless to say, I'm very excited but also a little scared. But that's normal, right? To be scared of things you don't know, of change? And it's in times like these that, even if you're scared, you just have to do it.  Because if you try, you'll never fail. If you never try, you'll never do anything. And that's bogus. I'm not about to be sitting on my parents' couch when I'm 37, watching GSN and eating tortilla chips and salsa.  Unless that's acceptable, then someone please let me know.

This post is getting more sentimental than I had intended for the (what I hope is) humorous tone I take with this blog. But don't worry. I'm sure I'll have some crazy pants adventure time posts about my road trip soon. After all, crazy tends to follow me.

So tomorrow I leave for a 3000 mile road trip across the United States of America. With my mom.

Road trips are still rites of passage if they're taken with your mom, right? Right? RIGHT?

Write you soon from the west coast, y'all.