Leaving California.

Well my friends, nearly a year after my last post on this blog I am back to make another post updating you about my life.

I’m moving back to Jersey for the summer of 2014.

“Why???” you might ask. Well there’s a lot of reasons. But these are not them.

The Things I Will Miss About California:

1) My baby apartment.

For those of you who have had the pleasure of stepping foot into my baby apartment and sleeping on an air mattress on the floor, then you know it’s got its charms and quirks about it. IT MAY BE SMALL, BUT IT BE MIGHTY aka it had walls and a roof and a kitchen and a bathroom and enough room for a bed so that was good enough for me.

THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT MY BABY APARTMENT:

Low ceilings, close proximity to a college aka loud drunken frat boys 5/7 nights a week, close proximity to a fire station aka sirens all the time, unbelievably sensitive fire alarm that goes off when my oven is preheating forcing me to run back and forth multiple times to stop the loud and obnoxious beeping, roommates (aka ants, spiders, fruit flies, occasional mice, etc)

2) The weather.

Fairly certain that there was ne’er a day the temperature went below 50 degrees during the day. And holy shit that is a modern marvel for a girl who grew up in the northeast. AND CAN WE TALK ABOUT HOW IT’S POSSIBLE THAT THERE ARE PLACES THAT HAVE LESS THAN 100% HUMIDITY IN THE SUMMER TIME? Cool breezes on hot days are the greatest thing. Suck on that, Jersey.

THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT THE WEATHER:

Nothing. Well ok actually I miss rain and thunderstorms so I guess I won’t miss NOT having rain and thunderstorms. And earthquakes. PEACE OUT MOTHERFUCKERS I DON’T NEED THE GROUND SHAKING FOR NO REASON OK.

3) The people I have met.

My friends from Disney who have allowed me to be crazy me and still want to be my friends (???? you are all weirdos why do you accept me I am a crazy person). You have made being homesick and not knowing a single thing about California before coming here a lot easier. If you ever need a place to crash in Jersey, or wherever I end up next, srsly send me a text. I got you.

THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET:

My neighbor loudly having sex at 3 am. Nope. Won’t miss that a single bit.

4) The food.

Actual Mexican food is amazing???? And In n Out is amazing?????? AND THEY PUT SANDWICHES ON WAFFLES HERE (Bruxie) AND IT’S ONLY 3 BLOCKS AWAY FROM MY APARTMENT AND WHOEVER THOUGHT TO DO THAT IS AMAZING (except why so close to my apartment pls I want a banana chocolate milkshake and waffle fries every single day damn you)???????

THINGS I WILL NOT MISS ABOUT THE FOOD:

LACK OF DECENT PIZZA. LACK OF DECENT ITALIAN FOOD PERIOD. LACK OF DECENT BAGELS (#bagelsunday). LACK OF MOES. LACK OF WAWA/QUICK CHEK. LACK OF MOSTLY EVERYTHING GOOD (food) IN LIFE.

There are probably other things. Actually, I’m sure there are other things. But for now, I’m just going to try to focus on the positives of moving back to New Jersey aka sitting in my bed watching HGTV and Food Network and ABC Family and TLC (because my parents actually have cable television!!!) while eating greasy cheesy pizza and cuddling with Jackson. And what’s not to love about that?

PS Still haven't met Seth Cohen so p sure something is wrong???????

Apartment.

I'M FINALLY MOVED INTO MY APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Purgatory and the Angel.

I'm at this weird place in my life right now.  Like, literally.  Physically, I'm at a real weird place.  You see, we arrived in California last Friday, my mom and I.  Got an apartment for myself on Saturday.  Stayed in a hotel with my mom until Tuesday, when she left to go back to New Jersey.  But I don't actually get to move into my apartment until later this week.  Hence why I'm at a weird place.

It's what I'd like to call a kind of purgatory.

You see, I've been staying at a local college since Tuesday.  It's a nice place.  I have an entire suite to myself, so that's been fun.  The internet is free, and it's wireless.  So for the last three days, I've basically just sat in bed, watching the final season of Friday Night Lights, eating Oreos, and being a bum.  I don't start work until later this week.  So it's just this until Thursday.

Life's great, right?  Why am I complaining?

Because Purgatory.

Now, I've kept as busy as I could.  I had friends in town that I hung out with until Thursday.  I had errands to run on Friday and I went to a movie at night.  Even yesterday, now that I'm alone and have no friends out here, I was content with watching a few episodes of Weeds and, like, 8 episodes of FNL.  Content!  I was content!

But then, tonight, the Tony's were on.  "Why not?" I said.  "Neil Patrick Harris is hosting," I said.  "Let me hook up my television and... What the?" I said, as I looked around my room and discovered there is NO CABLE HOOKUP IN MY ROOM.  Alright, fine.  I won't watch the Tony's.  I won't watch GSN.  I won't watch anything but Netflix, and I still have a couple episodes of FNL left to watch.  I'll be alright.

But then, I thought to myself, what about... Tuesday?  Oh my god, what about Tuesday?  Tuesday!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TUESDAY?!

Guys, Tuesday is when Pretty Little Liars comes back.  And I don't have a cable hookup in my room.

So today I sat in bed, wallowing, crying, dying (not really) that I won't be able to watch PLL Tuesday night, my one night the entire summer I'll actually be able to watch it live because I am too poor to pay for cable once I move into my apartment.  Just one night of getting to live-see Caleb and Toby and Ezra and Ian and now Sean Faris is going to be on the show and I guess finding out who red coat is and I can't even do that.

UNTIL: An angel came and knocked on my door.  She called herself "The RA."  She told me she didn't even know anyone was staying in this building.  She asked me if I needed anything.  I questioned where I could watch television.  She took me down the pathway to the building next door and showed me the most glorious of things: a giant, flat screen TV.  That no one uses.  Because basically nobody is on campus in the summer.

All.  Mine.

This angel also showed me where to to my laundry.  Because I have a lot now.  And now I know where I can do it.

Maybe I'll even go out into the quad and join the shirtless boys playing bocce ball one day this week?  Or maybe I'll ask the guys who walked past my room bouncing a basketball, who stopped outside my door to announce that "Someone is here" before walking on, if I can bounce a basketball with them sometime this week??  Maybe I'll have a posse of college friends/minions by the time I leave here???

Maybe purgatory isn't such a bad place after all??????

So I Made It to California, Now Where's Seth Cohen?

All my life, I've been waiting to find Seth Cohen.  Well, alright, since 2003 I've been waiting to find Seth Cohen.  For those of you COMPLETELY OUT OF THE LOOP, Seth Cohen is the perfect human.  He's smart, witty, artistic, talented, sarcastic, and basically all-around amazing.

Seth Cohen is from The OC.

Now imagine me as a 12 year old girl, watching Seth Cohen sweep the beautiful (and utterly annoying) Summer Roberts off her feet in Newport Beach, California.  He even managed to get her, as popular as she was, despite:

• his attitude and sarcasm.
• his intelligence level.  Not because Summer Roberts is dumb (she's not) but because Seth Cohen knows he's smart and rubs your face in it.
• his lack of friends.
• his cooler-than-himself parents.
• his love of comic books.
• Captain Oats, his toy horse.

Like, come on, I'm as nerdy as it gets and this is my perfection.  I swooned.  America swooned.  We all swooned for Seth Cohen.

I bought a Seth Cohen poster.  Seth Cohen hung above my bed for several years.  I slept with Seth Cohen every night from the time I was about 13 until I was 16 and I thought I was cool and re-did my room to look like a French hotel room (actually I am cool, it's a very cool room).  I removed Seth Cohen from my wall, but I did not discard him.  No, he remained hidden in my room, safe and sound, for when I needed a little Seth Cohen in my life.

Now, 10 years later, imagine me as a 22 year old girl aka right now, having JUST MOVED TO THE OC IRL.  Sure, I'm a lot more realistic at this point.  I know Seth Cohen's not real.  But come on.  It's SETH COHEN, people.  The perfect human?  I would be lying if I said that my eyes didn't sweep through the crowds on Sunday as I strolled through Newport with my mom.

Seth Cohen, Seth Cohen, wherefore art thou Seth Cohen?  Is it his hair?  Maybe.  Is it his body?  Probably. Is it his nerdiness?  Definitely.

I'm on a quest to find Seth Cohen.  Wish me luck, friends.  I won't rest until I have Seth Cohen in my life again.

(This is the infamous Seth Cohen poster.  This poster is still somewhere in my bedroom in New Jersey.  Who knows, maybe this Seth Cohen will come back to the real OC with me, in my suitcase, at some point in the very near future.)

In Case You Didn't Know, I'm Moving to California. Tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I am leaving everything I've ever known, picking up some of my earthly possessions, and moving 3000 miles away to sunny California. I've never been more west than, like, Lancaster, Pennsylvania? So though I know people who have been out there and there is much literature on the subject, here is what I assume California is going to be like:

1. People doing yoga in white linen pants on the beach
2. People doing pilates in white linen pants on the beach
3. People doing yogalates in white linen pants on the beach
4. Pinkberry
5. Bathing suits, everywhere, all the time
6. Lots of sand, everywhere, all the time
7. Kristen Cavallari yelling "STEPHEN!", everywhere, all the time
8. People playing instruments on every single beach pier
9. People roller skating on every single beach pier
10. In-N-Out
11. Avocados. Lots of avocados.
12. Traffic. Lots of traffic.
13. A really, really cool soundtrack to your life (thanks, The OC!)

The weather is going to be gorgeous, always. I'm going to be working at the happiest place on earth. I'll be living on my own so that means avocados for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and also I can walk around naked if I want. I'll probably get myself a cat (or two). What's not to love?

Maybe the fact that I'll be super far away from my family and friends?  Maybe that I will be totally, singularly on my own out there?  Maybe that I don't know where anything even is out there?  Or what the lifestyle is REALLY like?  Like, do I have to go to In-N-Out all the time?  Do I need to start doing pilates?  Are these two things contradictions of themselves? (yes, yes they are)

Needless to say, I'm very excited but also a little scared. But that's normal, right? To be scared of things you don't know, of change? And it's in times like these that, even if you're scared, you just have to do it.  Because if you try, you'll never fail. If you never try, you'll never do anything. And that's bogus. I'm not about to be sitting on my parents' couch when I'm 37, watching GSN and eating tortilla chips and salsa.  Unless that's acceptable, then someone please let me know.

This post is getting more sentimental than I had intended for the (what I hope is) humorous tone I take with this blog. But don't worry. I'm sure I'll have some crazy pants adventure time posts about my road trip soon. After all, crazy tends to follow me.

So tomorrow I leave for a 3000 mile road trip across the United States of America. With my mom.

Road trips are still rites of passage if they're taken with your mom, right? Right? RIGHT?

Write you soon from the west coast, y'all.