Neighborhood Conversations pt. 1.

(This conversation takes place between 2 idiots, standing outside of my bathroom window)

Idiot 1: Girls get this sentimental thing and it kicks in, I don't mean to be a pig or anything, but that's Dylan's thing.  He's got game and stuff too, but all he has to do is start talking about his life.  And like if a girl has had something bad happen to her, then there's that emotional connection and that's all women need for you to get in their pants.  They play it off, but the way I see it now, it's only a matter of time.  And once it happens, I usually do a pretty good job and then it's in.  It's settled, it's there.

Idiot 2: Dude, when I was going to school, and my first period class I went to there was this super hot chick.  And the first day of school I show up to class late as fuck, and I walk in and I got brand new black pants on and a nice looking shirt and shit.  And Dylan had just like cut my hair.  He had shaved my head except for this right here.

Idiot 1: Nice.

Idiot 2: Which was about that long so I looked like fucking, like, Tin-Tin or some shit, you know, and like I had just started working out again.  So I show up in like nice pants, good shirt, and like my fucking biceps are like bulging out of like the shirt and shit.  And I show up and I sit down like I don't give a fuck because I haven't been to school in 4 years, so I sit down like I don't give a shit, you know?  And then like so this girl sits next to me and we're kind of talking or whatever, you know, and the next class I got her number.  And then I decided to get my hair for work to be more professional and show up to school wearing this, dude, and she fucking stops talking to me.

Idiot 1: Sometimes you gotta pay the price!

Idiot 2:  Yeah dude, no seriously.  Like, I'm the same person dude.  I've gotten even buffer since then.

(maybe she didn't stop talking to you because of your haircut, though...)

Apartment.

I'M FINALLY MOVED INTO MY APARTMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Laundry Debacle and How Purgatory Became Hell.

Since I've had nothing to do but sit around, I figured it's probably about time to do some laundry.  You know, clean the clothes that I've worn over the last couple of weeks, wash the sheets for my new bed when I move into my apartment this weekend.  Basically just get my act together, maybe.

The other day, when "the angel" came to my rescue, she showed me how to purchase a laundry card so that I could do my laundry.  I thought I had it all figured out.

I was wrong.

Now, I've been doing my laundry for about 10 years.  I'm a pro now.  But my college didn't make us pay for laundry.  It was great!  Free laundry.  I knew how to work the machines.  The machines here are actually the exact same as at school, except here they cost $1.25 to wash a load of clothes.  Alright.  And the dryers cost $1 to dry.  Fine.  I'm an adult now.  I can do this.

So I go to the laundry card dispensing machine and put $5 in for my card.  That'll cover 2 loads of laundry and I'll have some spare change left on the card.  Perfect.  I grab my clothes and sheets and head to the laundry room.

I throw my clothes in one washer and my sheets in the other.  I put the laundry card into the first machine and it says "Low Balance - $0."  What?????  I just put $5 on this card!!!  So I try again.  "Low Balance - $0."  The stupid laundry card dispensing machine ate my money!!!

I knock on "the angel's" door.  No answer, except for the yaps of what I can presume is her tiny and adorable dog.  I wander down to the building office.  There is a nice girl there.

Me, pointing to the machine: Hello, the machine ate my money.  It ate my $5.

Nice girl: Oh.  Um.

Me: I put my $5 in and the washing machine says I have no money on it.

Nice girl: Oh, you have to pay $5 for the card and then put money on it.

Me: Oh.  What.

Nice girl: Yeah, the card costs $5 and then you can put money on it for the laundry.

Me: Oh.  Thanks.

I go back to my room to retrieve another $5 bill, mutter "What a rip-off" under my breath, and head back to the laundry card dispensing machine with my $5 in hand.  I get the $5 balance on my card, finally, and go back to the laundry room.

I pay the machines and they start.  28 minutes later, my clothes and sheets are clean.  I think to myself, "Hey, I'll save some money and put both my clothes AND my sheets into one dryer.  Bargain!!!"  I put everything into one dryer and go back to my room for the 45 minutes that it will take to dry my things.

Yet when I get back, naturally, my things are not dry.  Because probably I had too many things in the dryer.  I think I can actually hear the dryer saying, "HAHAHA GOOD ONE LINDSAY."  I sneer at it.  For a moment we're at at standoff.  I separate my clothes and sheets and, thanks to the remaining $1.50 on the card, I start up the dryer with just the clothes in it.  I then retreat back to my room again to get another $1 to put on the laundry card for the dryer full of sheets.

But SURPRISE!!!  The money machine only takes bills higher than $5.  Does that shock anyone?  Nope?  Me neither.  So I go back to my room yet again to get my debit card.  I put my debit card into the credit card machine and SURPRISE!!! The lowest denomination of money you can put on a card with a credit card is $10.  Anyone shocked now?  Nope?  Alright cool we're still on the same page.

And that's how I spent $20 to do 2 freaking loads of laundry in this stupid place.

(Also, fun fact: I went to the television that "the angel" showed me and OF COURSE they don't have ABC Family.  You'd think that "the angel" would've mentioned this to me the other day when I said that I wanted to watch Pretty Little Liars on Tuesday night.  But nope.  So back to sitting in my room, alone, waiting for it to post at midnight tonight on Hulu.

Which, fun fact, I found that out last night: shows are posted at exactly midnight PST from that night.  I guess I can't complain too much.

Oh and, fun fact: I'm putting my pride away after "the angel" failed to mention that ABC Family isn't part of their cable program and I'm going to try to be friends with her.  She does have a dog, after all.)

Purgatory and the Angel.

I'm at this weird place in my life right now.  Like, literally.  Physically, I'm at a real weird place.  You see, we arrived in California last Friday, my mom and I.  Got an apartment for myself on Saturday.  Stayed in a hotel with my mom until Tuesday, when she left to go back to New Jersey.  But I don't actually get to move into my apartment until later this week.  Hence why I'm at a weird place.

It's what I'd like to call a kind of purgatory.

You see, I've been staying at a local college since Tuesday.  It's a nice place.  I have an entire suite to myself, so that's been fun.  The internet is free, and it's wireless.  So for the last three days, I've basically just sat in bed, watching the final season of Friday Night Lights, eating Oreos, and being a bum.  I don't start work until later this week.  So it's just this until Thursday.

Life's great, right?  Why am I complaining?

Because Purgatory.

Now, I've kept as busy as I could.  I had friends in town that I hung out with until Thursday.  I had errands to run on Friday and I went to a movie at night.  Even yesterday, now that I'm alone and have no friends out here, I was content with watching a few episodes of Weeds and, like, 8 episodes of FNL.  Content!  I was content!

But then, tonight, the Tony's were on.  "Why not?" I said.  "Neil Patrick Harris is hosting," I said.  "Let me hook up my television and... What the?" I said, as I looked around my room and discovered there is NO CABLE HOOKUP IN MY ROOM.  Alright, fine.  I won't watch the Tony's.  I won't watch GSN.  I won't watch anything but Netflix, and I still have a couple episodes of FNL left to watch.  I'll be alright.

But then, I thought to myself, what about... Tuesday?  Oh my god, what about Tuesday?  Tuesday!  WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TUESDAY?!

Guys, Tuesday is when Pretty Little Liars comes back.  And I don't have a cable hookup in my room.

So today I sat in bed, wallowing, crying, dying (not really) that I won't be able to watch PLL Tuesday night, my one night the entire summer I'll actually be able to watch it live because I am too poor to pay for cable once I move into my apartment.  Just one night of getting to live-see Caleb and Toby and Ezra and Ian and now Sean Faris is going to be on the show and I guess finding out who red coat is and I can't even do that.

UNTIL: An angel came and knocked on my door.  She called herself "The RA."  She told me she didn't even know anyone was staying in this building.  She asked me if I needed anything.  I questioned where I could watch television.  She took me down the pathway to the building next door and showed me the most glorious of things: a giant, flat screen TV.  That no one uses.  Because basically nobody is on campus in the summer.

All.  Mine.

This angel also showed me where to to my laundry.  Because I have a lot now.  And now I know where I can do it.

Maybe I'll even go out into the quad and join the shirtless boys playing bocce ball one day this week?  Or maybe I'll ask the guys who walked past my room bouncing a basketball, who stopped outside my door to announce that "Someone is here" before walking on, if I can bounce a basketball with them sometime this week??  Maybe I'll have a posse of college friends/minions by the time I leave here???

Maybe purgatory isn't such a bad place after all??????

So I Made It to California, Now Where's Seth Cohen?

All my life, I've been waiting to find Seth Cohen.  Well, alright, since 2003 I've been waiting to find Seth Cohen.  For those of you COMPLETELY OUT OF THE LOOP, Seth Cohen is the perfect human.  He's smart, witty, artistic, talented, sarcastic, and basically all-around amazing.

Seth Cohen is from The OC.

Now imagine me as a 12 year old girl, watching Seth Cohen sweep the beautiful (and utterly annoying) Summer Roberts off her feet in Newport Beach, California.  He even managed to get her, as popular as she was, despite:

• his attitude and sarcasm.
• his intelligence level.  Not because Summer Roberts is dumb (she's not) but because Seth Cohen knows he's smart and rubs your face in it.
• his lack of friends.
• his cooler-than-himself parents.
• his love of comic books.
• Captain Oats, his toy horse.

Like, come on, I'm as nerdy as it gets and this is my perfection.  I swooned.  America swooned.  We all swooned for Seth Cohen.

I bought a Seth Cohen poster.  Seth Cohen hung above my bed for several years.  I slept with Seth Cohen every night from the time I was about 13 until I was 16 and I thought I was cool and re-did my room to look like a French hotel room (actually I am cool, it's a very cool room).  I removed Seth Cohen from my wall, but I did not discard him.  No, he remained hidden in my room, safe and sound, for when I needed a little Seth Cohen in my life.

Now, 10 years later, imagine me as a 22 year old girl aka right now, having JUST MOVED TO THE OC IRL.  Sure, I'm a lot more realistic at this point.  I know Seth Cohen's not real.  But come on.  It's SETH COHEN, people.  The perfect human?  I would be lying if I said that my eyes didn't sweep through the crowds on Sunday as I strolled through Newport with my mom.

Seth Cohen, Seth Cohen, wherefore art thou Seth Cohen?  Is it his hair?  Maybe.  Is it his body?  Probably. Is it his nerdiness?  Definitely.

I'm on a quest to find Seth Cohen.  Wish me luck, friends.  I won't rest until I have Seth Cohen in my life again.

(This is the infamous Seth Cohen poster.  This poster is still somewhere in my bedroom in New Jersey.  Who knows, maybe this Seth Cohen will come back to the real OC with me, in my suitcase, at some point in the very near future.)